If a book includes the words Art of in its title, it is a factual guarantee that I will walk out of the store with the book (I loved The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli). Although I initially purchased The Art of Gathering because I thought it discussed scientific studies behind meetings and groups, it is safe to say I was pleasantly surprised to discover Parker’s book is loaded with practical tips for hosting; it also includes plenty of ideas for elevating conferences and business meetings, but I am not currently interested in running either of those forums so I will stick to the former. Although I am happily writing this review, I have debated gatekeeping The Art of Gathering to ensure that people think I am the worlds greatest host.

There are three reasons why I loved this book. First is the unique ideas that Parker and her constituents utilized while hosting. I found myself quickly needing to create a new file in my notes app to include all the brilliant ideas incorporated here. From Jeffersonian dinners to assigning people roles at parties (e.g., you cannot pour your own drink, that is someone’s job), I now have a full list of fun ideas that add more intentionality into the why of hosting—sorry Martha Stewart, but your list of items required for being a good host simply consists of supplies from Target, which stops quite short of adding any substance to the event. But I digress (Parker also roasts Martha Stewart).

Secondly, this book is much more than a blog post of meaningful ideas. Its later chapters walk through the hosting process from its genesis and hold your hand all the way until the party is complete. For me, one of the biggest lessons to takeaway is that my party does not begin at 7p.m. on a Friday evening, it starts with the invitation itself. Learning how to craft an invitation that sets the guests expectations is one of the best ways to ensure a lively party because everyone has a forecast of the agenda. Parker does an excellent job of giving concrete examples as to why each step in the hosting process is important and how being a confident host leading the night can extract the most out of the event.

Lastly, the overarching theme of this book—ensuring we are intentional with why we are hosting—is the main reason this book should be on everyone’s reading list. This begins by stating the idea for a party, wedding, game night, and then asking why. Once the initial why is answered, there are probably many more whys to be asked until bedrock is found, meaning that the event’s purpose is fully formed. For weddings, this looks like asking who should the couple invite: distant friends, or extended family? Asking why allows the engaged couple to decipher if their wish for the wedding is to either be oriented towards being with family, or if the celebration should be a big gathering of friends. While it can of course be both, asking these initial questions allows the host to be more intentional with their thought process. In sum, adding the why to the mix creates intentionality, which assists in breaking up the mundane and repetition of similar scenarios. I hope that anybody wishing to be a better host reads the Art of Gathering.